"Locust passes nudity ordinance." The law seeks to prevent, among other things, "the showing of covered male genitals in a discernible turgid state."
Yep. In the township of Locust, Pennsylvania the erection has become a punishable offense. I might be alone on this one, but I think if your covered male genitals are discernably turgid in a public place, that all parties involved will be uncomfortable. There isn't much need to draw up formal allegations and prepare expert testimony. Besides, are they going to ask the defendant if he has learned the error of his ways? Will he go forth with every intent to remain inconspicuously flaccid? Oh, the absurdity. I'm pretty confident most men go out of their way to ensure that covered erections are not discernable in public. Who needs a law?
It's been a little while since I have shared any of the wacky design work I find on the internet with the ukazu community. If you're ready for more, check out Modern Living. The designer has assembled a collection of interactive animated shorts in Flash that are quite bizarre. The work is very cleanly designed and the subject matter is PG. Each piece is brief, often three to five seconds, and should download fairly easily even on a slow connection.
I have added a neat little feature to ukazu, and it's simple to use. If you add a word to your post that is long, difficult, or uncommon, you can now also add a definition or explanation without throwing off readers who already understand. Just enclose the words that need defining with a <span class="wordhelp"> tag, then type your word, then close with </span>. To add the definition or explanation, just stick a title attribute in the opening span tag. It's pretty simple and it really could help some people out. For implementation details, see the example below.
Example: Bouffant
How to do it: <span class="wordhelp" title="puffed out">Bouffant</span>
I didn't think of this so I give the obligatory tip of the fedora to Mark Newhouse and the column on CSS he wrote for A List Apart.
My license plate now reads UKAZU.
The license plate is a Valentine's Day present from Kelly. I think it's an amazingly cool gift and it really goes a long way in helping me with my branding effort. She's so good she even got me to check the Arizona license plate registry last week, only to find out UKAZU had been taken. I was frustrated beyond belief and she just kept her mouth shut knowing exactly who had registered UKAZU while I vented about the various things I'd like to say to the person who had my plate.
Everything ended well, just like a good fairy tale should, and I now have a damned cool license plate.
Since being bought by @Home in May 1999 for $6,700,000,000 [yes, that is billions], Excite.com has shed an average of about $7,400,000 [millions this time] of market value PER DAY... Read more.
That mercenary stickman that we all have come to know and love is back in Xiao Xiao 7! You'll laugh and you'll cry as Xiao Xiao terrorizes the relentless villian "boss man" for the 7th time (does this guy ever die?).
On a more serious note this is some of the RADDEST (yes I said RADDEST) Flash animation out there.
I got sick at boy scout camp in 6th grade. After puking all night, I was sitting in the cafeteria with 500 other scouts eating breakfast when I felt the need to upchuck some cornflakes. I made like a track star for the bathroom. As I rounded the final corner, several things happened, all in one instant: I saw the door was shut (i.e. bathroom occupied) and the floor was wet. I hit the skids and then hit the floor after slipping in the water. Upon impact I burst like a balloon and spewed forth for the throng of dirty-faced boy scouts waiting do drop off their dishes.
I remembered the course of events today after being asked to explain my most embarrassing moment.
At work last night I poured myself a glass of water. I know, that's not very interesting, but as I started drinking the water I realized that it was the first glass of water I had imbibed in at least three weeks. My body is run on diet soda and this thought freaks me out. But I still drink diet soda and I tip my styrofoam tanker to the free-refill generation.
1. What's the most romantic thing you've ever done for someone else? Let's see... The first thing I think of is the star I registered for Kelly. Really. There's a little tiny star next to Orion's belt, forever named after her. Check the star registry if you're so inclined.
2. What are your erogenous zones? Ha! That information will remain relatively safe with my delightful girlfriend.
(* Relatively safe because there is an allowable amount of girltalk that I consider to be part of life. A fun part.)
3. How old were you the first time you had sex? Care to expound? You know, you'll learn a lot about me with this week's Friday Five, but perhaps not what the questions asked. There are very few people who know when I first had sex, and consider me strange, but I think I'll keep it that way.
4. What's the most unusual place you've ever had sex? Hahahahahahaha. It would take something away from the experience if I told the www.
5. Do you have plans for Valentine's Day or is it just another Thursday? I've got plans. Good ones. They too shall remain a secret, however.
I found this and thought it was pretty funny. Anyone want to learn how to REALLY blow a date? Check this out!
You’re out at the clubs this weekend and a member of the opposite sex strikes up a conversation with you. It’s all fine and dandy for the few minutes you chit-chat, but by the end of the night you really would rather not see this person again, but you don’t have the courage to turn them down. What to do? Tell them you are from New York and give them this number (212) 479-7990. They’ll go home feeling confident they scored a number, and you’ll rest at ease knowing you’ll never have to hear from them again. However, instead of just being a fake number, your “suave - little friend” will be greeted by a voice telling them they are rejected! After the rejection, they can choice between several options – pep talks or some harsh reality advice. The service is provided free of charge by the official New York Rejection Line. They do the rejecting so that you have time to pursue other things!
And for those of you looking for a job RejectionLine.com is hiring motivated and ambitious individuals to join their team. Send your resume to jobs@rejectionline.com -- BoomBoom will definately be applying here! Let the dialing... I mean rejection begin!
I've been beating myself up about automobiles for the past couple of weeks. I know that might sound silly, and you're right, I usually keep my mental affairs in pretty good order, but from time to time I too get flustered. Over the past couple of weeks, I have been trying to find an affordable car that I liked so I could ditch my 1990 Honda Accord and avoid some serious repairs on the horizon.
No dice. I'm no snob, but I don't like the cars I can afford and I can't afford the cars I like. So I've danced around a few car lots being pesky to equally pesky salesmen. Worse than the pesky ones are those who try to get crafty. I've learned two sure-fire grin-killers: "I've been doing research on the web" and "Please be specific, I'm a finance major and I'd like to make sense of the figures". Now that much of the new car dust has settled, I find myself staring at my old honda. I just can't find a way to beat it.
logomachy \loh-GAH-muh-kee\ (noun)
1 : a dispute over or about words
2 : a controversy marked by verbiage
That's my word of the day. I just signed up to have one new word delivered to my inbox every day from Merriam Webster. I think logomachy is a very cool word-- it ranks with bombastic-- though l don't think I'll hear Jamaican soundin' rappers be usin' it any time soon, mon.
This is too good. It gives you a chance to be creative and make fun of riceboy crapwagons at the same time. Turn up the speaks and mess with ALL the buttons. Enjoy.
I have found a few cool things this morning that deserve linking and I've grouped them into one post to save some all important front page space.
Google News Headlines: Looks like Google has created an aggregator. Google has been very good at rapidly indexing sites that change often and this is their latest effort to enhance the online experience for their users. Go Google!
Moby's Weblog: Yep, Moby has a weblog. Once you reach moby.com, click Moby Updates (I can't link directly because his site uses frames.)
Super Bowl Commercials: IFILM has archived the 2002 Super Bowl commercials for your online viewing.
The Co-Curricular Programs Office at ASU organizes a really interesting event each spring called The Last Lecture Series. Three ASU professors are selected to give a lecture as though it were their last. If you have an ASU afiliation, I encourage you to nominate one of your favorite professors.
This year I decided to nominate Mr. Greg Durham (PhD on the way) who teaches finance to undergraduates. I've already heard a number of his thoughts about finance, but I am anxious to hear what his last lecture would be. He's done a lot of different things in his life, so many in fact, that if he weren't such a smart guy, he probably would have ended up some sort of a drifter. My nomination is included in its entirety below.
Greg Durham is one of the most interesting people I have met in my life and he stands out in the Finance department at ASU. His classroom energy is unparalleled and he truly cares about his students. He is one of the few teachers who clearly cares more for his students than the subject he teaches. He does not draw on his passion for finance to teach, he draws on his passion for teaching to explain finance.
I have attended several of the Last Lecture Series presentations in the past and I think Greg would be particularly well-suited for this event. He has led a very interesting life and done quite a number of very different things. I think his perspective would offer something interesting to the mix. I also think he would enjoy the opportunity to share some of his perspective with students in an evironment not constrained by a syllabus or department requirements. Given the opportunity, Greg Durham would give every lecture as though it were his last, and his students would be better for it.
From Wired:
"Canadian police have arrested a man for stealing women's underwear, then making obscene phone calls to the items' owners. The suspect posed as a home buyer at open houses in Calgary, Alberta. "The Panty Bandit," as he's been dubbed by police, allegedly pilfered lingerie from 100 victims, calling them after finding their telephone number. "He would comment on the lingerie and make suggestions with regard to how it may look on the victim," Detective Stu Morse said. He was caught making an obscene call from a pay phone after being put under surveillance. Police asked a judge to recommend the suspect undergo a 30-day psychiatric assessment."
I always told my mom it was a bad idea when she wrote my name in the back of my underwear.
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