The other night Pauly B and I walked out of Elf still singing "Santa Clause is coming to town" when we were slapped in the face by this frightfully scary movie that should have been released back on Halloween. Dan Harkins, I would personally likely to express my official boycott of your theaters here on ukazu as of this moment.

Oh man oh man. I found some good stuff. And I'm not leaving any commentary with the pieces this time, because frankly, my crappy executive summaries just won't do. So indulge yourself and read a bit.

• The Time Between Ordering and Eating is short.
• The Commuter's Apology is also short.
• dnasty.blogspot.com is the anonymous weblog of an analyst at an investment bank in New York. Props to Jorge for this one.

What happened to the good ol' days when all a smuggler had to do to make some money was fill up his favorite propholactic with his narcotic of choice, swallow, cross the border, and let nature take care of the rest? Now we got smugglers shooting up our highways over America's other favorite illegal substance. I'm with the Aussies, WTF?!?!?

Okay, so I went to my company picnic on Sunday. Here is a rundown of things that aren't going to be the same at your company picnic.

1) One of your directors will not be wearing a "Hold my drink while I fuck your girlfriend" T-Shirt; your manager won't comment on how much he likes it.
2) There will be substantially less girls refusing to play whiffleball because "their heels would sink into the grass."
3) The cooler for beer won't be smaller than the one for RedBull.
4) When a stranger from the park comes over to talk to a girl at your picnic, no one from security will walk over to "make sure everything is alright."
5) There won't be people complaining that there is no valet - She can barely see her car from here.
6) And finally, when the owner makes his speech about goals for the next year, "I would like to see all the employees drinking a little less on the job" won't be one of them.

It's like that and that's a matter of fact...

Looks like they've discovered how the world is going to end. Looks like Jonas and Paul will be saved!

This Guy Should Join UKAZU:

"...when something exists for reasons that are not obvious, application and context become the meaning and therefore, how it relates to the things around it, bringing these surrounding elements into question, purely by contextual association..."

As much as I love this whole UKAZU thing, one of my least favorite questions to answer is, "So what's UKAZU?" Shepherd Fairy, the designer/hooligan who started the Obey Giant craze, nailed it. I love making the t-shirts and putting stickers up and writing to the web for my friends and reading the comments that are generated seemingly out of nowhere and planning events that get reactions...

All that's UKAZU. It's about points in time and context and response.

Shepherd and I diverge, sure; I don't claim we're the same. But as I read that little bit, my pulse quickened. The rest of interview with Shepher Fairy is also interesting in its own right. You outta read it.

I just ponied up the cash and registered the UKAZU domain for five years forward. You think web surfing in five years will be anything like it is today? Will UKAZU still be relevant to your life? You stickin' with this crazy commons?